The sequel

Have I got a fucking sequel story to write... We are doomed I tell ya. This is why people run away from cops here in Manila.

I was so busy that week that I was only able to come back for the police report after 1 week. I remember Sgt. Toledo told me to come by after 6 PM so I did. I walk in to the precinct at around 6:15 PM and I look for the guy. The cop at the front booth tells me Sgt. Toledo already left. So I'm like "So? Can't I claim the police report from somebody else?" So for a minute I was like ... "Fuck! Now what? Is this gonna be a game of hide and seek?"

I was still standing there sending several SMS messages on my cellphone until the front booth cop calls my attention and points me to a sitting Sgt. Toledo. Of course I say "Ahh... Thank you sir, I could have already left and would've needed to come back again because unfortunately you were on the shift as the Information Officer, but thanks anyway." OK maybe I didn’t say the rest after "thank you" out loud, but you get the point.

So I talk to the elusive Sgt. Toledo and ask him about my police report. He asks me where and when it happened and then tells me to sit and wait for his assistant to come back and look for the report. So I’m cool, I sit down and just casually jeer at the inmates in their detention cell right beside the sargeant's desk.

After about 15 minutes, his assistant comes in and is then instructed to find my files. Apparently, the assistant was busy doing an errand for the chief so he couldn’t help. And so the sargeant just pulled a drawer in his own desk and looked for my file. Jeezzaaaz... it was just in his desk!

So I naturally stand up and motion to receive the documents. I am then told to sit down again as he puts in a paper in an old typewriter machine. I look closely and I see that the documents he recovered are actually just the affidavits I made from last week. Holy Fucking Shit! Is he just about to start making the report? I guess that's why I couldn't just claim the report from any cop in there. Stupid me!

He then asks me to go outside and buy a TAR. I ask "What's a TAR?" He just answers "Just go outside and buy a TAR from the guy in the photocopy machine." So out I go to find out that the TAR was actually "Traffic Accident Report". It's the stupid form that he's typing on... the fucking asshole just asked me to buy him a replacement of a form that he will use for my report. God have mercy!!

So he types on and puts in the details from the affidavits, and then pauses for a minute after around 10 minutes. He flips through the pages, obviously looking for something... until he suddenly asks me... "Do you know the plate number of the other vehicle?" I answer "Excuse me?"

It turns out, the other driver didn’t write it down on the affidavit but he never bothered to check if the affidavit was executed properly. I asked for the pictures but after about 30 minutes of looking for them, we confirmed that the stupid photographer never took a picture. I could almost cry from the utter incompetence of these fucking morons. I never took the license plate myself since we were all going to the police station for an official police report and was naturally assuming that all the details would be taken. I did however got a photocopy of the driver’s license and the contact number of the owner of the vehicle, and had to call her to ask about the plate number. Gawd, am I lucky that she was very cooperative even from the beginning.

So finally the report was finished and the sargeant asked me to make 4 copies of the report. I was thinking "You have got to be fucking kidding me?" This asshole still has the balls to ask me to pay for photocopying the report. Of course he does, he's a cop and is a fucking asshole right to the very core. I of course replied "OK"

As I left the precinct, I just cant help but figure how I have come to understand the motivations of some arsonists and their delight in seeing burning buildings...

Just my lucky day...

It was unusual to see a queue of cars in the basement parking entrance at 1:30 in the afternoon. Usually, it’s pretty light after rush hour. But for some reason today, a lot of people wanted to park there.

The basement parking drive-through is sort of landscaped like a pyramid. You have to drive up for the building entrance, which is elevated by about 30 degrees, and then the rest of the way is a curved drop to the basement where the valet guys are waiting. So if you were viewing it from the outside, you really wouldn’t see if there was a queue of cars ahead of you... not until you get to where its downwards and the angle of visibility would again permit you to see anything in front of you.

When I drove in, I almost hit a car in front of me. Good thing his distance from the top angle was a little more than a car's length so I had time to kick the brake pad. And for a couple of seconds, I thought to myself... that was fucking close. And within a nanosecond my thoughts rushed to the car behind me. And right about then, I see a big pickup truck's hood in my rearview mirror as it slowly tips the angle and starts to nose dive towards my trunk.

I knew that he was gonna hit me. There was just no way he could see me in front. And almost in synch with me hitting my horn.... BAM! His fucking hood had iron bullbars... Aw Gawd! My poor car. Good thing I didn’t had any afternoon appointments.

Fuck! I wanted to be angry with the guy but I knew it was an honest mistake. I asked if he had insurance... he said yes, well at least that's one thing less to be worried about. So we were standing there attracting the usual curious bystanders and security personnel from the building until the Police Officer finally arrived 1 hour after I made the call.

They took their pictures and sketches and we talked about it for several minutes and agreed that it was best to let the insurance companies take care of the details. I called my agent and she talked to the driver. The good news was that at least he wasn't contesting his sole responsibility. That would've really been a bitchy situation otherwise.

We drove to the Police Station, signed our affidavits and asked my wife to fax over the registration. Then they surprised me when they asked us to reimburse the taxi fare they paid to get to the scene of the accident. I was like "Are you kidding me?" I would've said a lot more, but then the other driver already gave them P60.

So I asked, "When can we get the official Police Report?"

The Officer answered "It'll be ready in 3 days. Come at around 6PM.

I then said "It takes that long to write a police report?" He just gives me an empty stare... and I knew what it meant.

It obviously meant "Yes, and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it!"