Bits and pieces...

I promised myself I'd try to put in at least 2 blogs a week. But I guess that really depends on what kind of shit I am in at work. The wife has been complaining whenever I spend more than an hour in front of the PC at home. What can I do? Sometimes you really have to take work at home. Sometimes there's just too much to do and so much emails to write and respond to, and you just cant finish things with people at the client site interfering you with problems, questions, and other fucking minute details. Dont forget the long meetings... I get 4 of them every week. Damn! I miss those days when I was just doing nothing all day. I remember waking up at 11AM and worrying about absolutely nothing except about what I wanted to do that afternoon or figuring out which friend I wanted to visit.... ahhh those were the days.

The folks are here in Manila for a short visit. Lots of things to write about actually. Havent seen them in over 5 years and it feels different to speak to them and move around the house knowing that I'm not the punk kid I used to be. Heck, I have a family of my own now. I hope we can finally go out and play billiards in the next few days. Its been a while since I shot some pool and I really wanna find out if the old man can still play.

My 5 yr old daughter has warmed up pretty quickly to her grandparents. She wants to sit with them, talk to them, play with them, eat with them, and pester them for the better part of the day. Already, she does this move that resembles fly girls shaking their booty. I think she will be into a lot of dancing and clubbing when she grows up. Much like her Mom.

My back hurts, I feel tired. Have had a headache from all this shit I have to deal with at work. I need a massage... I need a real good massage. Maybe a 30 minute steam bath, then some swedish and shiatsu massage... amybe a little bit of thai for the back, and then a bottle or 2 of san mig light beer. Yeah.. that's what I'm gonna do....

Kotong

Got flagged last night doing an illegal U-turn near where I live. Fuck! Why didnt I see him standing there. I would have sped away except I saw his parked motorcycle. 2 vehicles immediately followed what I did and got motioned to join us in the curb.

Its amazing the guy starts lecturing me about traffic rules and why these signs are there for my own protection. Who's protecting me from you? Yadah... yadah... yada... let's get it over with.. give me my fucking ticket!

And as I sit there watching him from my rearview mirror collecting the licenses from the other unfortunate drivers.... images of my past traffic apprehensions flash through my mind and then I remember ... how the hell do I squeeze this in my schedule? I can't even take a day off to do the stuff that needs to be done at home, let alone squeeze this into my schedule during office hours. All for a fucking U-turn on a street that nobody cares about.

He then comes back to me and tells me he's doing me a favor by reducing my violation to a simple "Disregard for Traffic Signs". So he's doing favors for me now? He hands me back my license and tells me "Kayo na lang bahala" (It's your call). So I give him his P100 bribe money and off I go.

"Tang-ina! na 100 ako nung gago!"

I know.. I know... I would've been equally pissed if I got flagged by an officer that wasn't trying to get his next merienda. What a terrible inconvenience that would be.

Some guy...

Very recently, my wife and I were at a mall looking around for a new sofa set. Apparently, she is no longer happy with the one we just bought last year and so I am duty bound to tag along and give my constant objections everytime she motions me about a sofa set that she likes.

But this blog isn't really about that. On one of the last shops we visited, I stayed inside a bit longer than she did because I was looking at some nice high stool chairs that would look great if I had a bar in my house. As I made my way out, I saw my wife sitting on the atrium waiting. She was about 10 yards away from me and as I was getting closer, a young man walked upto her and said "Miss, ano pangalan mo?" (Miss, what's your name?) She then looked up at the young man and pointed at me as I joined them... she said "Asawa ko" (My husband).

And I have to admit that it happened so fast that I really didnt know what to do. With only 1 daughter, my wife is really still quite a looker and the guy wasnt really ugly. He was young though, probably only in his early 20s. I quickly asked "Bakit?" (Why?)... and then the guy suddenly turned his back on us and looked the other way. The weird thing was... he was still standing there, but just looked the opposite way.

So we just stood there for a couple of seconds until I finally decided to walk away. And for some looney reason, I looked back about 30 meters away and the guy is still there standing still and looking at somewhere. And I was like.. "what the fuck was that?"

Was he trying to meet or pickup girls? The old machismo attitude in me kept saying maybe I should've done or said something to scare him. OK, it wasn't saying that I should've beat the pulp out of the kid... just say something to scare him. Maybe something generic like "Me problema ka ba?" (Do you have a problem?) Maybe I should've.... but for the few seconds that I was standing there looking at his nape.. it just felt really fucking weird that he didnt just walk away. I mean what the hell was he doing still standing there?

And then I thought... if that felt weird to me... I wonder how it was for him. Ha!

Ang Alamat ng Pupu

Dana, my naturally inquisitive 5 yr old daughter recently just asked me... "bakit ung mga mga tao nagpu-pupu?" I told her "ung pupu yan ung kinain mong pagkain pag wala ng sustansya..."

She then asked me... "pano nagiging pupu ung pagkain? kino-color?"

Zombie stare

Dont you find it kinda funny how when your driving behind a jeepney, people inside the jeepneys specially those sitted at the back always give you this zombie stare. They just look at you with this dead gaze... Weird!

Pathetic loser

Just saw another all too common friendster testimonial. What else is there to say? Just read it and feel nothing else but apathy.

sometimes i ask this question to myself--is it possible to consider a person as your friend even if you haven't met each other in-person yet? well, i guess this is what i'm feeling now about you. i kNeW your a kind, loving, friendly, and understanding person in the infinitesimal time before i finally had a glance at you, even just at your picture!!! sounds wEiRd, huh? but anyway, i do hope you are that pErSoN i was referring to, and i hope you will stay just the same, OK? i want you to know that even if we aren't that cLoSe, i still have my best interests at heart for YoU... cge, GoD BlesS and tAkE cArE 'cOz i cArE :-)

Duh!

What the hell is happening to kids these days? Ganito na ba sila mag pa-cute ngayon? And as my 6th grade gay teacher would say... "Kawawa ka namang nilalang..."

Consequently, why on earth would you accept some fucking wacko to post testimonials about you when they are total strangers? It just means that their credibility about anything they say is obviously worth less than their IQ. And you want people you really know to read it? Tsk tsk you have serious thrill issues miss.

The price of being nice

It never ceases to amaze me... clients will never remember the favors that you do for them. I cannot remember how many new features and requests I have agreed to insert into the system without an Impact Analysis document. Yeah.. everybody talks differently when they need something from you. I should have been a lot tougher back then... I shouldn't have given a lot of things for free... should've kept a stack of Project Change Request Forms just beside my IN/OUT document bin on my desk so they'd get intimidated.

But what the hell can you do?... Really? I was trying to build a good.. actually.. great relationship with them and dammit it really was going ok. When they ask something from you, you evaluate the impact to the sched, budget, etc. against the business process that is driving the request. Is it really gonna be a necessity? Can we phase it in the next cycles? The sad part is sometimes, bottom line really is... the slogan comes into play. We wanna do this for them, so they know that we really are a partner, not just a vendor. And that we are capable and willing to go the extra mile with them, if that's what it takes.

And it's not really a problem doing stuff for free... in the interest of building a great relationship with a client. I just wish, for the love of God, that they remember it and cut me some slack when I slip. Customers can fucking pound on the table for something and will twist your arm like a dripping wet towel for a fix and when you send the fix... it takes them a goddamn month before they apply the stupid patch. Delays are ok.. as long as it's from their end.

To ogle or not to ogle...

Why do women wear revealing clothes and then reprimand you with a mean stare when they catch you looking? I remember one particular time, I was in a bar with some guy friends just enjoying our san mig light and talking lightly. 3 women just arrived and sat on the table next to ours. These were hot chics and had sexy bods as well. One of them had a really nice butt and incidentally, she was the one who sat down with her back towards us. She was wearing her jeans really low, and she had black thongs that was amplifying her butt cleavage. And being the warm-blooded mammals that we were, we were obviously ogling. What sane heterosexual male wouldnt? We were really minding our own business, but stuff like these are the kind that can break a guy's concentration. At the risk of sounding like a sexist pig (instead of a guy with humor), it almost looked like she was asking one of us to drop a token for the ride. Can I try swiping my credit card instead? Ha! Anyway....

Around a minute later, her friend sort of noticed and whispered something in her ear. She then gave us the meanest stare that she could muster while mumbling probably some ancient latin curse or spell, and then grabbed her hand bag and placed it between her ass and the chair, squirming in position to try to cover the spotlight. End of the show.

And I was like.. "What the fuck?"

Why on earth do you wanna wear something like that if you dont expect men to look at it? Let's face it. Men are men, and being sentient beings, we will always respond to visual stimuli by looking at it... it's the way we are built. It's part of the innate sexual drive that makes sex itself work. If you dont want me to look, then dont wear something that will provoke it. You know these things were designed to look sexy right? So then why does it bother you when I appreciate exactly what it is? Otherwise, women should just have a note posted on their forehead that says something like "I know I have huge tits.. but you are not supposed to look at them even if Im not wearing a bra right now"

Case in point, I must draw the line. Let me just clarify that I'm solely talking about "looking". Looking is one thing, and doing something about it, or clearly harassing is another. To the perverted subspecies of men out there... NO, this is not an invitation to rape them or harass them asshole! You are sick and you need to be locked away for a good period of time. There are probably others who would argue that your balls should be cut off and be fed to you and I dont think its a totally bad idea at all.

I am just keepin it real here, but I think I speak for all the 'normal' heterosexual men who try to act and speak discreet whenever they are confronted with tops that are squeezing too tight, pants that are shapingly sewn too well, strategically exposed bellies, thongs, butt cleavage and the works. Its not that we dont respect women, or are instantly metamorphosized into a neanderthal bonehead thats no longer interested in a woman's brain or personality... but it's not your brain thats trying to pop out of your chest, honey!

Being a married man myself, I get my share of times when my wife catches me (sometimes pre-emptively) looking at some girl. I usually get the remark "Oh! baka gusto mo syang sundan? or bka naman gusto mong magpakilala?" And then there are times when she's the one who actually points me to them. "Grabe naman ang suot nyan.." and then I would of course go ... "Saan? Saan?"

Its not even just men exclusively, I wonder how women (at least those who have had "satisfactory" sex before) would try to discretely talk about Philippine Politics, the Economy, or Quantum Physics with a well-endowed guy wearing only speedos. Felix! That'd be fun to watch.

It is interesting how the filipina woman is still the most conscious about how much her flesh peers out. You can be sitting on a jeepney minding your own business when a flat-chested woman enters the jeepney and by sheer accident you get a glimpse of her chest. Sort of weirded out by the split-second experience, you instinctively look at her face. She somehow senses what had just happened and she motions her hand to cover her chest. Of course you turn your head away and silently smirk "Anak ng..." Now you feel awful like a guilty prick when all you did was mind your own business. And then the uneasy feeling starts because you know that she thinks you are looking, and you know that you dont wanna look.. and now everytime you move your head towards her direction she's gonna suspect that you wanna look again... Ayayay!