Cabbies

After a long day, I usually wish I didn’t have to drive home. I wish I could just hail a cab, sit and do nothing for 45 minutes. I mean, I'm already exhausted from dealing with pencil-pushing punks at the client site, and sitting in meetings that are always longer than what it should take because there is always at least 1 person in that room that is slow. So I dread the realization that now I have to battle it out in the streets of Manila for a grueling 45-minute drive.

I don’t remember how many times I was so tempted to leave my car in the garage. Of course the next morning, I don’t even know why I was actually considering a stupid thing like that, but it just seemed such a good idea at the time. And that's all because I was tired of course. And then there are days when you've been waiting for an hour or so and you still can't get a fucking cab... and then a new guy, or girl, or group of people that just came out of the building try to be a smart ass by moving up the road so they get the next cab first. Don't you just hate these fucking assholes? Makes you want to rebuke all the decency you learned in kindergarten and scream at them like junkyard dogs. And now you wish you had your car with you. Great. Just great.

So you finally get a cab, and then it turns out it isn’t so relaxing after all. To me, there are certain things that can really annoy me about a cab ride... some of them in fact are such deal breakers that have made me, in more than 1 occasion actually ask them to stop and let me out. Never mind the fact that the meter has already been running. Screw you, I'm not gonna pay for that.

They are:

1. When it's hotter inside, than it is outside. Normally, you ask them to move the A/C notch up a bit to make it at least a little cooler. Some cabbies make some lame excuse about the A/C being busted or how he just turned it on, or how they got no freon left in them but what really annoys me is... when they actually move it 1 notch up, and then move it back after 5 minutes or so. What the fuck? Really. I drive a car everyday too moron. I know what petrol products cost these days. But this ain't a free ride now is it? I am paying you, and at the end of the ride, ill most probably hand you a little more than what the meter says. Besides, you aren’t really saving anything with the A/C being 1 notch lower. As long as the compressor is running, IT'S RUNNING! I know you wouldn't dare to turn the whole thing off anyway, so what is the fucking deal here?

2. When they insist on listening to bad music on the radio. Jeezaz. I don't even have to explain myself here...

3. When they listen to AM radio commentators. Don't get me wrong here. There are probably certain times when I would switch to AM myself, but only for the news. Not during the time that these commentators are ranting about whatever social or political issues that takes their fancy, though. Fucking hypocrites masking themselves to sound like they care. Just give me the news. Don’t care about what you think.

4. When the cabbies switch from radio commentators, to radio evangelists. Good Lord. This is fucking torture. Don't make me listen to a preach yakking about what righteous people should do. What the fuck does it mean to be a righteous person anyways? I guess back then it was pretty obvious. There were laws (both moral and legal), and you follow them. If you sinned or went against the law, you just buy a couple of turtle doves and burn them at the temple. Absolved. But this isn't the way things work now do they? And it really fucking annoys me to hear them say how easy it is to deal with life's nuances and problems. Forget annoy, it pisses me off. As if there is a formulaic principle that can readily be applied to all of the woes of life. Really now? Get the fuck outta my face!

5. When the cabbies try to engage you in conversation. And I don’t mean 1 or 2 line exchanges here. I mean when they actually try to get a conversation going. Man, isn't it obvious enough that I reclined the backrest? Isn't it enough that you hear me making *sigh* sounds immediately after I sat down and in between your pauses? Isn't it enough that you see me massaging my forehead like I just survived an agonizing 4-hour meeting? Heck, isn't it enough that I don't respond to you? Christ!

I have already tried to be as polite as I can without actually berating you to just shut the fuck up. What does it take? I don’t wanna be a total jerk. I don’t want you to have the impression that all men in suits are condescending snobs... well, maybe most of them are. But not me. I just want to rest and get home fast, preferably in 1 piece. Maybe sleep for a minute or two along the way.

So don't tell me about what you think is the real reason why the country's economy is shit right now. Don't tell me why you are pissed off at your operator. Don't tell me why you think you are better than some of the senators. I know that on this point you are probably correct, but I just don’t care don't you see? And don't tell me why you're not staying with your wife because you 2 had a fight. And last of all, NO... I fucking don't want to join that stupid multi-level marketing scam... whatever it is they call it these days. And I don’t give a rat's ass how much money you say you made from it. Intiende puto?