Petnames galore

Now I'm not the nosy type of guy and have always really been the "I dont give a hoot" kind of person. Whatever works for you. That's me. I don't enjoy being intrusively inquisitive about people's personal tastes or preferences as much as I detest being subjected to it. But something happened this afternoon and I felt I needed to at least comment on this one.

I was quietly enjoying my lunch earlier today until I suddenly choked on a piece of beef when I overheard the woman on the adjacent table at the cafeteria ask his boyfriend:

"Do you want some water, HoneyBunch?".

I literally had to cough the stupid piece of meat out of my throat. And it didn't happen with just one cough. These arent the fake coughs you try to make when you're trying to clear your throat of a little itch. Those are more like "eherms". These were noisy coughs.

After almost choking to death, I casually leaned over to look at the next table. Obviously, I demanded to see who almost caused my daughter to be orphaned at 5, or more appropriately, I wanted to see these people who would so casually share their cheesy petnames with the hearing public. I was surprised. They were actually an attractive couple. I'd say about early twenties.

What made this really standout, besides the obvious absurdity of the word was the fact that when I was in college, I had a classmate named Tony (not his real name, inorder to protect him from reliving the college embarassment should he get to read this blog) who was actually using the same cheesy petname. We found out about it accidentally of course. He was taking money out of his wallet for a pot session when he unintentionally dropped a picture. He didn't seem to notice it until another friend picked it up and saw that it was a pic of his girlfriend. At the back were written:

Dear Honeybunch,

Keep this as a remembrance.

Love,
Munchkins

Needless to say, we were literally laughing our ass on the floor. And when I say laughing our ass on the floor... Louie was pooping in his pants. Tony was of course embarassed and was red beyond recognition. Maybe it was because he accidentally drank the glass full of gin mistaking it for water, but I don't really remember. It wasn't a really big deal then actually. He was just the butt of jokes till we graduated and nobody ever called him Tony again after that so it was really nothing. Did I say pot? err... I think we used the money to buy food. Yes, it was food.

Anyway, it was mind boggling to find out that someone was actually using those - Honeybunch and Munchkins. I mean, I'm not alone here right? God knows what other petnames exist out there. One would think you would only hear about that in cheesy cartoons or some other fictional stories/tv ads that have been made up, just to be funny. But here was an actual living proof that people really used it. What made it worse or better (depending I guess on how you look at it) is a reaffirmation that someone else today was actually using it also. Can you imagine the odds of running into 2 people who actually used Honeybunch to refer to their bf/gf? I should drop this keyboard and buy a lottery ticket right now.

OK, so enough of making fun of them. The laughter has subsided except for the occassional smirks here and there. Like I said, whatever works for you. But really... cheesy petnames are really not for the general public to know, or hear about. It's like whips and chains, you don't really wanna announce it.

Anyone who hears about our very own cheesy petnames (not that I admit to using any) will obviously comment with revulsion about it being totally corny. Maybe some people don't go as far as naming their partners after small donuts, but I guess given the right (or wrong) circumstances, I can consider a possibility that one would actually consent to being aptly called a munchkin or a honeybunch. Maybe you two were drunk and you agreed to be called Munchkin, if she gave you an underwater blowjob. Maybe you two were supposed to be in Puerto Galera but something happened and you had to cancel your trip. Maybe it's because you are a Doctor who's on call and now all the time you have left is a small stop over at a 24 hour convenience store and the only edible food they had left were donuts. And because you've been so hungry for an hour or so, the donuts tasted extraordinarily good. In fact, they tasted unbelievably fantastic. So you tell you're partner "Wow, try this one, it's really sweet, almost as sweet as you", to which she replies "Awww... you will always be my munchkin" and so starts the petname tradition.

[Believe me, I was gawking when I was thinking of this example myself. But I had to do it to explain my point so give me a break, ok?]

As you can see, I am a very understanding guy. I hope you people can appreciate the amount of leeway that I give in trying to understand that case in question. All points taken, just try not to spill them over to others. No ones gonna find it interesting or romantic. Maybe some chics will, but guys will NOT. Trust Me! You will never hear an ounce of approval from guys on cheesy petnames. We are NOT interested to know about what you call each other. Ok.. ok, maybe only so we can make fun of you.

Otherwise, the only reason guys approve of doing this first hand is on the condition that nobody else gets to hear it OR more appropriately because it will probably get them laid. But then again, everything we do is in hopes of getting laid.

Heck, my brother and his ex-gf used to call each other "Papi". Or was it "Puppy?". Well, that's all I have to say about that.