Ahhh.. another dream you say?

I've never really been a fan of perfumes or colognes. Right now, I have several which are mostly gifts from friends but I dont really use them that much. The ones that I do like are the Hugo Boss that's in a round bottle which smells really good, and another DKNY one. The rest I'm not that fond of. Now for some reason tonight before leaving for work, I decided to spray the DKNY on. And I really mean no special reason. But after I did, the wife suddenly interrogates me with why I am putting on perfume... with a hint of suggesting that I might have a mistress at work perhaps?

I dont know how sick and tired I am of hearing shit like this. The worst part is, she actually wants me to answer it. As a result, I purposely try to make faces like she caught my secret or something, but all within the context of making a joke of course. I mean, come on. If you had a mistress... would you tell your wife about it after a question like that? I mean what kind of answer do they really expect from their husbands?

"Actually, Yes. And it's been going on for 6 months"

Now I have already told her about how ridiculous that question is countless times already, specially more absurd since she actually demands a straight answer from me. Why the hell do women need constant reassurance? After being constantly asked about this all these 7 years of blissfull marriage... it's easy to imagine how it can be so tiresome that it's actually annoying. It feels like a fucking gnat at a BBQ. You fucking swat it away several times, and it just wont go away. Pestering you constantly even as you exert the effort to shoo it away. It's like a stubborn turd... a floater that wont go down. Why dont you just sink you little fucker?!

She even chased me down the stairs and out of the door when I refused to answer.

"What the??"

All because last night she told me about a dream she had. She dreamt she went to the office to pick me up, and saw me holding hands with another girl. Now there are a lot of things that are absolutely wrong with this dream to begin with. First of all, she never drives. One of the main reasons we bought another car (automatic transmission) is that so she can easily drive around the metro since she has been having difficulties with the stick shift. That proved to be a wrong assumption. She never drives, period. Second is, if I had a mistress... why the fuck would I shit in my own backyard? And what? Date a co-employee? What am I stupid? I may get crazy sometimes, but I'm definitely not stupid!

Dreams are really such powerful shit. I know a friend who got laid because the girl dreamt about him. And she didn't even had a crush on him before that. Talk about being a lucky SOB!

Dreams are also pretty biased. Specially when you're a married guy. I dont recall her telling me she dreamt about me being the loving and caring guy that I am. OK, maybe I dont really want something that far-fetched. Just enough positive vibe so she lets me out with the boys all night. I can live with that.